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Covered in bees!


  Beekeepers, yes ... They've gotta want to be: - I want to be a bekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't want them to get away, I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom ... I want bees on elastic, so when they get pulled, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps ... and their footsteps were like this ... eeaarrrkk! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!
'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it - beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2.000 bees ... bzzzzz ... and essentially you're trying to steal honey:
- Bzzzzz...
- Morning, morning ... hello ... hello, knock-knock, coming in, hello ... Look! There's a Ferrari over there - can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!
He must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, he must go:
- What the fuck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!
And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go:
- Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee - I can get you a coffee ...You know, I like my coffee like I like my women - in a plastic cup!
Beekeepers can't do that! 2.000 bees ... bzzzzz ...
- Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?
- Huh?
- Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem! Bzzzzz ... No real problem ...
- I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!
- I like my women like I like my coffee ... covered in bees! Now, back off, back off ... eeaarrrkk!

Eddie Izzard: Glorious (1997)


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